“You Were Travelling to Fill a Void—The Kids Would Fill That Up”

A Reddit post from r/askSingapore struck a chord with many Singaporeans after a user openly questioned the rationale behind having children in such an expensive country. The post, which gathered hundreds of upvotes and sparked a wide-ranging discussion, was titled “Given how expensive Singapore is, why are there still people who want children?”

The original poster (OP) shared conflicting thoughts about parenthood, admitting to being pulled in two directions—one filled with practical concerns, the other driven by emotional yearning.

The OP didn’t dismiss the desire to have children but was seeking clarity before making a life-altering decision. They acknowledged seeing both joy and exhaustion in parents around them and wanted to hear directly from people who had chosen to bring children into the world—despite the soaring costs of living in Singapore.

Rather than dismissing the question, the Reddit community responded with heartfelt and nuanced takes, many highlighting how the decision to have children is not rooted purely in dollars and cents.

One of the most upvoted responses cut straight to the emotional core:

“Kids actually don’t want your money, they want your time.” – SnooRabbitsS

This sparked agreement from many who reflected on their own childhoods filled with modest holidays and simple family moments that meant the world.

“As a child, my parents brought us to Malaysia very often and those are core, good memories!” – furkeepsfurreal

Another user pointed out that while kids may sometimes feel left out when classmates talk about luxurious vacations, it often stems from deeper issues:

“Kids tend to compare when they’re trying to fill a void.” – Accomplished-Bit6948

One commenter delivered a strong rebuttal to the idea that financial calculations should dominate the parenting decision:

“If you actually consider cost of living and income as a factor, over a billion people in poverty on this planet shouldn’t be reproducing at all.” – jemaaku

Others shared how their children brought emotional rewards that far outweigh any luxury item or holiday:

“Having a kid has been the best decision I have ever made... the joy and meaning my daughter brings me is something words cannot describe.” – slamajamabro

Some even argued that raising children offers a kind of human depth and emotional richness that cannot be replicated:

“Certain emotions (both positive and negative) in life are gatekept behind having children.” – timetobeanon

The idea of raising children “richly” vs. “humbly” was a recurring theme.

“After spending a ton on my first child, I realised it was all on overpriced rubbish... what the kids want is our love and attention.” – airpork

A mother weighed in with her practical perspective:

“I'm not broke and close to being broke but I think it’s more important to teach my children to live within our means.” – watermelondumpling

Still, not everyone was sold. Some commenters were firm in the belief that if the idea of giving up holidays or personal freedom is too painful, then perhaps parenthood isn’t for them:

“If you think missing an exotic holiday is a reason not to have a kid, then you definitely should not have a kid.” – Zestyclose-Hawk-659

Others acknowledged the uncertainty and stress of modern life, cautioning against entering parenthood without clarity and readiness:

“There are people who regretted not having a kid... but the reasons or circumstances are entirely different from what you are going through now.” – oahaij

What this thread reveals is a cultural undercurrent in Singapore: the tension between modern aspirations and age-old values.

While the high cost of living is a genuine concern, many commenters pointed out that raising a child doesn't have to be extravagant. Instead, the shared view was that time, emotional connection, and intentionality mattered far more than financial abundance.

Another common thread was a rejection of societal pressure—both toward and against having kids. For some, the decision not to have children is equally valid, especially when driven by thoughtful introspection rather than fear or stigma.

Ultimately, the takeaway wasn’t about whether one should or shouldn’t have kids. It was about understanding the real reasons behind such a personal choice—and being honest about what you’re willing to give up and what you truly value.