Too Introverted for HR? Or Just the Wrong Company?
Many introverts in Singapore’s workforce struggle with the expectation to be more sociable, outgoing, and “visible”. But when the job is in HR, the pressure can feel even greater.
A discussion on r/askSingapore recently explored this dilemma after a user shared their experience of being criticised for being too introverted in an HR role. Despite making efforts to build rapport, their supervisor still felt it wasn’t enough. This raised the question: Can introverts thrive in HR, or is it a mismatch?
HR and the "Extrovert Bias"
HR is traditionally seen as a people-centric role, which often comes with the assumption that extroverts are better suited for it. Many believe HR professionals should be comfortable chatting, networking, and building relationships across the organisation.
"HR is a relation-based kinda role, even if you may be in operations. But I agree the boss seems to be projecting his own bias on you."
— u/fallow0
"Face it, any kind of job also don’t like introverts, even when the kind of role (like data) logically has more introverts."
— u/Cute_Meringue1331
But does being an introvert automatically mean you can’t do well in HR? Many introverts in HR disagreed with this idea.
"Being an introvert doesn’t mean you are unsuitable for HR, it just means there are other ways to build relationships."
— u/harlequintessence
Introverts can still excel in HR if they find other ways to connect with colleagues—not through chit-chat, but through meaningful interactions, thoughtful communication, and reliability.
Is It a Personality Clash or a Bad Fit?
Sometimes, the issue isn’t about being introverted but rather a mismatch with the company culture or boss.
"Many in HR are introverts, so I wouldn’t rule out the career just because of your current supervisor."
— u/Ukelele-in-the-rain
Different workplaces have different expectations. Some companies value results and efficiency, while others place a strong emphasis on workplace culture and bonding. A boss who values social presence highly may push introverted employees too hard to be someone they’re not.
"My supervisor is very assertive and strong, while I am on the reserved and quiet side. Am wondering if it’s a personality difference or a job mismatch?"
— OP
For some, switching to another HR role in a different company could be the solution. Not all HR jobs require constant social interaction—roles like compensation & benefits, HR analytics, or HR compliance tend to be more structured and process-driven.
"HR depends on which kind of HR. From what you say, sounds like shared services? I don’t think you need to be super outgoing for that."
— u/Auditor_1188
Building Rapport as an Introvert: Alternative Approaches
If being extroverted isn’t natural, there are other ways to build rapport without forcing small talk.
"Rapport is not built overnight. It’s built over shared experiences."
— u/HavUevaSeentherain
Some suggestions from the community:
✔️ Be helpful, not just chatty – People remember when someone solves their problems. Being approachable doesn’t mean forcing conversations, but being dependable and making processes easier for others.
✔️ Be warm in communication – Instead of just sending emails, adding a short “Hope your day is going well” or “Let me know if you need help” can make a big difference.
✔️ Use small talk strategically – You don’t need to chat all the time, but simple interactions like asking about someone’s weekend or wishing them well before a long holiday can help.
✔️ Join team lunches or casual events – While introverts may prefer eating alone, occasional participation in social settings helps build familiarity.
MBTI and Work: Do Personality Types Matter?
The OP mentioned that they are ISFJ, a personality type from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which is often seen as supportive, detail-oriented, and good at handling people-related matters.
"If we are just going by MBTI, ISFJs are meant to be a pretty good fit for HR."
— u/ENTJragemode
However, many users pointed out that MBTI isn’t everything.
"MBTI is fake science. You need to stop using it. The only real part is that there is a spectrum of introversion-extroversion, but the rest is made-up nonsense."
— u/TreadmillOfFate
Ultimately, a person’s ability to succeed in a job isn’t just about personality type—it’s about adapting and finding the right environment.
Is HR the Right Career for Introverts?
The general consensus? Introverts CAN thrive in HR, but it depends on the company culture, role, and management style.
If a job expects you to behave unnaturally every day, it might not be sustainable in the long run.
"Nobody should be made to feel that they’re not good enough for their job just because of who they are."
— u/HavUevaSeentherain
If the role demands constant socialising, and the work environment favors extroverts heavily, it may be time to consider other HR specialisations or a different company. But if the issue is just about finding the right way to build rapport, there are alternative approaches that don’t require becoming an extrovert overnight.
At the end of the day, shouldn’t performance be judged on actual work done rather than how much small talk you make?
