Should I Tell My Parents About My Tattoo? Singaporean Gen Z vs. Traditional Values

A Tattoo for Remembrance – But at What Cost?

A 19-year-old Singaporean woman took to r/SingaporeRaw to ask for advice about getting her first tattoo—a small one in remembrance of her late grandmother. However, the issue wasn’t about where to place it or which design to choose, but rather whether she should even discuss it with her traditional parents or simply go ahead with it without their approval.

While tattoos are becoming more mainstream and accepted as a form of self-expression, they still carry a negative stigma among older Singaporeans, who often associate them with gangsters, ahbengs, and ahlians.

"How do I bring this up to my traditional mindset parents without upsetting them? Or should I just fuck it and get the tattoo without telling them at all so they can't say no in the first place?"
— u/Quick_Usual9016

Tattoos & Parental Approval – What Reddit Thinks

1. "Your Body, Your Choice – But Be Ready for Consequences"

Several users pointed out that while OP is free to make her own choices, all actions have consequences—especially when living under her parents’ roof.

"Your body, your choice. Just know that people sometimes do not make good choices, especially when you are younger."
— u/Changosu

"By you asking this question, it means you are not ready, as clearly, you are still bothered by their opinion. There is no changing their minds, and it's on them to come to terms with it eventually."
— u/BootyHarem

Some users felt that OP should wait before making the decision, suggesting that if something is truly meaningful, it will still feel meaningful years later.

"You can try to set a timeframe of about 6 months to a year. You're bound to have more than one idea for what tattoo you want to get, and it will change over time. You're 19—you have time."
— u/BornToBehead

2. "Tattoo Now, Regret Later?"

A recurring theme in the discussion was that many people who get one tattoo don’t stop at one.

"The moment you get one, you will get more. It's addictive. But then again, you do you. Why need permission?"
— u/BuddingPoppp

Others warned against making a permanent decision at a young age, emphasizing how tattoos can lose their meaning over time.

"No tattoo can capture the changes in you or express the depth of your emotions. So, you will get dissatisfied with one, then have another and so on. Eventually, one day, you might decide to erase them all and feel something is missing."
— u/DaftSinkies

"If you think it's a good idea, look back on your thirteen-year-old self. Did she have the knowledge and experience that you have today? Likewise, the future 29-year-old you might not agree with you today."
— u/kankenaiyoi

3. "Think About Job Opportunities & Social Perception"

Although tattoos are more common now, some Redditors highlighted the social and professional stigma that still exists in Singapore, especially in certain industries.

"Back in the States and most parts of Europe, people would hardly bat an eye and even compliment you on your choice. But here, you still have to face future employers that might not share the same sentiment."
— u/BootyHarem

"You can always place tattoos in areas that can be covered by work clothing."
— u/heartofgold48

4. "Alternative Ways to Remember Your Grandmother"

Some Redditors suggested that tattoos are not the only way to honor a loved one.

"Can you think of other, less controversial ways to remember your grandmother than with a tattoo?"
— u/backnarkle48

"Writing a poem, creating a collage of photos, writing a song—these are also ways to express love and remembrance."
— u/starscream258

So, Should She Discuss It with Her Parents?

The consensus was mixed. While many felt that OP shouldn’t need permission, others believed open communication was the best route, especially if she values her parents' opinions.

"You need to first show that you are a responsible person who is financially independent, makes sensible life decisions, and is able to take care of yourself. By then, you don’t need to convince them anymore."
— u/Koreanramenyum

Some suggested dropping hints over time instead of immediately announcing the decision.

"It would be nice to drop hints of getting a tattoo for a few months. Over time, they may ease their opinions and understand that you are serious about it."
— u/Separate_Ad_3263

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, OP will have to weigh the potential fallout of getting a tattoo without telling her parents against the desire for self-expression. If keeping family harmony is important to her, a conversation may be worth having—even if it doesn’t lead to approval.

But as many Redditors pointed out, tattoos are permanent, while her current emotions may not be. The real question is: Will she still want this tattoo in 10 years?