Never Good Enough – Does This Feeling Ever Go Away?
A recent post on r/askSingapore struck a chord with many working adults. The original poster (OP) shared feelings of inadequacy, believing they would never be good enough in their job. They envied a colleague’s competence and wondered if this constant need for self-improvement was a toxic mindset. OP questioned whether this feeling ever fades and how others cope with it.
Self-Comparison vs. Self-Improvement
Many commenters acknowledged OP’s struggle, emphasizing the importance of shifting focus from external comparisons to personal growth.
"You compete with yourself. Make sure you are doing better than yesterday, last week, and last month. There is no point comparing with someone else." – u/Unrave1ling
"If you desire to compete, why limit yourself to just colleagues? Compete against the top 10 billionaires. You probably won’t, because at the end of the day, many just want to look good in their social circle. That’s not self-improvement—that’s pride and jealousy." – u/MeeseeksCat
Another user framed self-improvement as a lifelong journey, suggesting a broader perspective:
"It’s always You vs. You. Everyone has different starting points, exposure, and resources. Comparing yourself to others is pointless. Instead, ask yourself: Are you better than yesterday? If yes, you’re already winning." – u/Future-Travel-2019
The Reality of Being ‘Good Enough’
Several users argued that OP might already be more capable than they think. The definition of “good enough” is subjective, and in many cases, simply being competent is enough.
"Better to be painfully average than painfully below average." – u/KopiSiewSiewDai
"Being average is fine! For all you know, your colleagues are just overachievers. You will get there, just don’t let it become an obsession." – u/fazzie_fudge
Another perspective was that happiness and self-worth shouldn’t be tied to work alone.
"You are not defined by your job. Self-improvement doesn’t have to be about work. It could be about improving your health, picking up new activities, or just finding things that make you happy." – u/baboony123
Coping with the Feeling of Not Being Good Enough
Some users shared practical ways to handle feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome:
"Try talking to yourself like you would to a friend. Would you tell a friend they’re ‘not good enough’? No, right? Be kinder to yourself." – u/MisterBofa
"If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Put down your ego and learn from others. 不耻下问 (never be ashamed to ask)." – u/Shot-Season-202
A more humorous but sobering perspective came from someone who works in the funeral industry:
"Bro, I work as a funeral director. I see people passing away at 20, 30, 40. What is ‘good enough’? If you worked hard today, you are already ahead of many." – u/Emergency-Silver7765
A Singaporean Perspective on Success and Contentment
A user highlighted the harsh realities of Singapore’s work culture and offered an unconventional way out:
"Singapore’s middle class has it the hardest. If you’re in the top 20%, life is great. If you’re in the bottom 20%, you get subsidies. The middle 60%? They work their whole lives hoping to climb higher. Want a solution? Once your HDB reaches MOP, rent it out, move to a cheaper SEA country, and let your dollar stretch further." – u/Available-Log6733
Others reinforced that happiness shouldn’t be tied to an impossible standard.
"Success is relative. If you are happy and earning enough for your needs, isn’t that ‘good enough’?" – u/Mission-Ad-8202
Final Thoughts
The feeling of never being good enough is common, but many Singaporeans believe the key is to shift perspectives. Compete with yourself, focus on what you can control, and remember that ‘average’ doesn’t mean ‘not good.’ Sometimes, learning to be content is the real success.
