Mental Health in Singaporean Families: Are Parents Really Supportive?

Mental health remains a sensitive and often misunderstood topic in Singapore, especially within traditional family structures. A recent discussion on r/askSingapore shed light on how Singaporean parents view children struggling with mental health issues—and it wasn’t always positive.

A user shared their decade-long struggle with depression, only managing to seek treatment after becoming financially independent. But every time the topic came up at home, their parents dismissed it, telling them to “just think positively” or that their mind was simply “too weak”.

This post sparked a flood of responses, revealing a deep disconnect between older generations and the reality of mental health.

"Why Can't You Just Be Normal?" – The Old-School Mentality

Many Singaporeans who grew up with mental health struggles shared similar experiences—being dismissed, scolded, or shamed for even bringing up the topic.

"My father once yelled at me, 'Why can't you just be normal?!'"
— u/go_zarian

"I once asked my mother if I could see a child psychologist for an evaluation. She scolded me for having thoughts of 'illness of the soul'… Turns out I have Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1."
— u/go_zarian

Some cultures, such as the Malay community, have deeply ingrained beliefs about mental health being a sign of spiritual weakness.

"The Malay term ‘penyakit jiwa’ translates to ‘illness of the soul’. It implies that people with mental issues have defective souls, and that actually impedes progress into mental wellness for the Malay community."
— u/go_zarian

It’s not just cultural stigma. Many older Singaporeans grew up in a time where survival was the priority—mental struggles were seen as a luxury or weakness, rather than a real health issue.

"Does society care? No. Do parents care? Probably, but what can they do? The world is a cruel, merciless place."
— u/PexySancakes

The Cycle of High Expectations and Mental Struggles

A common theme among respondents was that many mental health struggles stemmed from high parental expectations and a culture of constant comparison.

"Many children with self-esteem issues have critical parents. They often feel they’re not good enough. Even as adults, they know they are somewhat okay, but that critical voice overrides their confidence."
— u/Ok-Bicycle-12345

Some users reflected on how, even as adults, they still felt inadequate because of their upbringing.

"Till today, I earn below median and as much as I try to save and put money in SSB like a responsible adult, just reading askSG sometimes convinces me I have no worth."
— u/everywhereinbetween

For many, the pressure to succeed in Singapore becomes overwhelming. The constant comparisons—whether it's to siblings, cousins, or classmates—can lead to a lifelong struggle with self-worth.

Changing Attitudes: The New Generation of Parents

While older parents often dismissed mental health, there are signs that younger parents today are shifting their mindset.

"I'm a parent of a young child. I would get them the best help I can afford, of course. There are many modern drugs that can make symptoms manageable with little side effects."
— u/lycheenutt

"The older generations have lower awareness of mental illnesses. Now that we know better, we need to do better and not let another generation down."
— u/lycheenutt

However, some users cautioned that medication isn’t always the first solution—mental health should be treated holistically.

"PLEASE prioritise a therapist or counsellor before jumping to drugs. Mental health isn’t something you can just cure with a pill. You need to get to the root of the problem."
— u/thefarmercox

It’s clear that while some older parents struggle to accept mental health issues, younger generations are trying to break the cycle by being more informed and supportive.

Is Singapore’s Work Culture Making Things Worse?

Beyond family expectations, many users pointed out that Singapore’s work culture plays a significant role in mental health struggles.

"Singapore’s work culture is trash, undoubtedly so. Everyone’s small part is to make it less horrible by being a good coworker or boss."
— u/InALandFarAwayy

"If you don’t like the results, you can either play the game or find some other game to play elsewhere."
— u/InALandFarAwayy

Some even suggested migrating as a way to escape the relentless pressure of Singaporean society.

"Before anyone thinks SG life is the be-all and end-all, migrate if it means saving yourself. There are countries with better ways of life."
— u/InALandFarAwayy

But is leaving Singapore really a solution? Or is it about changing our mindset towards work-life balance and mental health?

Breaking the Stigma: What Needs to Change?

1. More Education and Awareness

Many older Singaporeans still don’t recognise mental health as a real issue. More education is needed—especially for parents—to understand that mental illness isn’t just about "being weak".

2. A Shift in Parenting Culture

Parents need to realise that constant criticism and comparison do more harm than good. Providing support, rather than just pressure, is key.

3. Addressing Work Stress and Burnout

Singapore’s high-pressure work culture is a major trigger for mental health issues. Companies need to stop glorifying overtime and burnout.

4. More Accessible Mental Health Resources

Seeking help in Singapore is still expensive and not widely encouraged. There needs to be more affordable counselling and therapy options.

"If my child ever struggles with mental health, I’d make sure they get the help they need. We know better now, so we should do better."
— u/lycheenutt

Mental health isn’t a choice—it’s a reality. If Singaporeans want to build a healthier, happier society, it starts with breaking the stigma at home.

At the end of the day, shouldn’t every parent want their child to thrive, not just survive?