‘I Still Regret It So Much’: Singaporean Woman Shares Her Abortion Experience

A Singaporean woman recently shared her emotional and traumatic abortion experience on Reddit, detailing the heartbreak of terminating a pregnancy she had initially wanted to keep. Her post struck a chord with many, sparking a heated discussion about relationships, financial readiness, and the deep emotional impact of abortion.

The 26-year-old woman and her 27-year-old partner had been friends for nearly a decade before getting into a relationship less than a year ago. Early in their relationship, they both agreed that they weren’t ready for children and would opt for abortion if an unplanned pregnancy occurred. Despite having a stable combined income of around $11,000 to $12,000 per month, they felt financially unprepared for parenthood due to Singapore’s high cost of living.

However, when she found out she was pregnant, everything changed. Seeing the baby’s heartbeat during an ultrasound at six weeks filled her with joy and a deep desire to keep the child. She pleaded with her partner, offering to take on more financial responsibility and highlighting the support they had from their families. But he remained adamant—he wasn’t ready to be a father, and he reminded her of their initial agreement.

Feeling pressured, she ultimately went through with the abortion.

She opted for a medical abortion at KKH. Before taking the first pill, she requested another ultrasound, wanting to see her baby one last time. At eight weeks, she saw her baby’s tiny hands and feet—a moment that left her devastated. The first pill ended the baby’s heartbeat, and she was sent home.

Two days later, she was admitted to complete the abortion. The physical process was excruciating—severe cramps, heavy bleeding, and an allergic reaction to the abortion pills that caused her blood pressure to spike. Eventually, she felt an urge to push, and when she did, she saw her lifeless baby, still intact with the placenta. The nurses confirmed it and showed it to her and her partner one last time before taking it away.

The pain didn’t end there. A doctor had to manually scrape out the remaining blood clots—a process so painful she screamed and cried.

Even though her partner stayed with her throughout the experience and comforted her, she now grapples with immense regret. She had long dreamed of being a mother, and now she wonders if she is even worthy of it anymore. The emptiness haunts her, and she constantly thinks about the heartbeat she stopped.

“I feel so ashamed. I feel so depressed and keep thinking how I want to join my baby up there.”

Her story sparked a flood of reactions on Reddit, with many expressing sympathy, frustration, and even anger at her partner’s role in the decision.

"My mom had an abortion and felt the same regret. But years later, I had a dream about an older sister I never met. When I told my mom, she was shocked—I was supposed to have an older sister. I believe those we love never truly leave us." – Square_Ad_5039

"I think it’s important to talk to your partner. You need to discuss how this has affected you emotionally and mentally. Don’t go through this alone." – c44sr

"Earning $11K a month and still thinking you’ll financially struggle with a child? People think they need $20K-$30K to have kids in SG. That’s just not true." – CycleAffectionate169

Many also called out her partner for refusing to step up.

"If he pressured you to abort this time, what makes you think he won’t do the same next time?" – CertainTap8584

"I have mine in my early 30s and our bodies really slowed down. 26-27 is the prime age for kids. He’s making excuses." – SmirkingImperialist

Some defended the boyfriend’s stance, arguing that he had a right to his decision too.

"They had an agreement. An accident happened. She changed her mind. Is it his fault for not being ready? Parenthood isn’t something you just ‘suck up and roll with.'" – MadKyaw

The woman's story sheds light on the complex emotions surrounding abortion, especially when circumstances change. It’s a stark reminder that no matter how prepared one might think they are, an unplanned pregnancy can completely shift perspectives. While her partner stood by her during the ordeal, his reluctance to embrace fatherhood has left a lasting wound.

Her regret is now something she has to live with, and the question remains—can she heal from this? Or will this experience redefine her relationship and future decisions?