Bridging the Generational Gap: How to Connect with Younger Colleagues Without Sounding Like an Ah Pek

It’s a situation many older Singaporeans face—how do you talk to younger colleagues without sounding like an out-of-touch uncle or auntie? A Redditor in his 40s shared on r/askSingapore that he struggles to connect with colleagues in their 20s and 30s.

His problem? Whenever he shares life advice—whether it’s about which avocados to buy or how to handle retrenchments—he gets doubtful stares or awkward silences.

He’s not alone. Many who commented agreed that giving unsolicited advice is a surefire way to annoy younger people.

Uncle Mode Activated: Why Unsolicited Advice Doesn’t Work

The OP admitted that he used to offer tips on small things, like:

• "Buy Australian avocados instead of Mexican ones because they ripen better."
• "Forcing yourself to finish food can cause heartburn later in life."
• "Be prepared for layoffs because I’ve seen what happens during retrenchments."

But instead of gratitude, his younger colleagues either dismissed his advice or looked at him like he was nagging.

"I've since learnt to keep my mouth shut to avoid sounding condescending."

For him, the frustrating part is that this happens not just at work, but in social settings too.

Public Reaction: "Nobody Asked You, Uncle"

Many Redditors pointed out that the issue wasn’t OP’s age—it was the way he gave advice.

"Most people won't appreciate advice if they didn’t ask for it. Would you appreciate someone telling you what to do when you didn’t ask?"
— u/sarefin_grey

"Do you want to connect with the younger gen, or do you want them to follow your advice?"
— u/drcolonelsir

Others felt the OP was treating younger colleagues like kids, when in reality, they’re just as capable of making their own decisions.

"Late 20s and early 30s are already full-grown adults. Yet you are treating them like kids?"
— u/MeeseeksCat

"If someone tells me how to eat while I’m eating, I will instantly despise them for a very long time."
— u/DreamyLan

One user broke it down simply: Unsolicited advice sounds like nagging.

How to Talk to Younger People Without Annoying Them

Instead of just keeping quiet, some Redditors suggested adjusting the way OP communicates.

1. Storytelling Instead of Lecturing

People don’t like being told what to do, but they enjoy interesting stories. Instead of saying,

🚫 "You should only buy Australian avocados because the Mexican ones never ripen."

Try this:

✅ "Wah, I used to buy Mexican avocados because they were cheaper, but they never ripened. One day I tried the Aussie ones—wah, life-changing! No more brown spots!"

"Personal sharing, story-like approach—not forcing anyone to follow your advice. Encourages others to reciprocate and share too."
— u/friedriceislovesg

2. Treat Younger Colleagues as Equals

Many younger employees don’t need an office dad or mum. What they want is a colleague who listens and respects their opinions.

"If you want to connect with them, ask them about them. Don’t make it about you."
— u/dudethatsfine

Instead of giving advice, ask questions instead. "Oh, which avocados do you buy? I used to have trouble finding good ones." This way, they lead the conversation, not you.

3. Only Give Advice When Asked

Redditors pointed out that people only appreciate advice when they actively seek it. Otherwise, they just want to talk.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Until then, let them make their own mistakes."
— u/Euphoric_Barracuda_7

If someone complains about something you have experience with, that’s your cue to share. Otherwise, just nod and listen.

4. Stay Relevant, But Don’t Try Too Hard

It’s fine to keep up with trends, but don’t force yourself to act young. You don’t need to use Gen Z slang or pretend to like TikTok. Just be open-minded.

"Align with their world, but don’t try to be them. It comes off as try-hard. Relate, but don’t imitate."
— u/MasteringTechSkills

Takeaway: Be the Cool Older Colleague, Not the Naggy One

The real key to connecting with younger colleagues? Respect their autonomy, don’t dish out advice like a free sample, and listen more than you talk.

What Works:

✅ Sharing stories instead of lecturing
✅ Treating younger colleagues as equals
✅ Waiting for them to ask for advice
✅ Staying relevant but not trying too hard

What Annoys People:

🚫 Unsolicited advice
🚫 Talking like you know everything
🚫 Acting like their parent
🚫 Trying too hard to be young

Want younger colleagues to actually listen to you? Be the colleague they respect—not the one they avoid at lunch.